Archive for bombed plans


Posted in Annoyance, Punsicouldgetkilledfor with tags , , , on November 1, 2007 by Rohit

So I decide to make my Halloween truly special. Think up a joke. Bloody brilliant one. Involves some work, but then. So, I get down to it and let loose a beard a week before. Here’s my strategy : on Halloween, I’ll say “Look Scary huh? I thought it was Hairy” .

Don’t you frown people! That is funny. On a diet rich enough in starch, that is funny even a week before.

I felt warm in my groin area for a long time since I thought up this joke. The sheer pleasure of delivering that punchline to boisterous laughing and unanimous applause, not to mention rabid lust amongst the women, filled my imagination every waking hour. I was going to be loved by all and revered by many.

But then came Wednesday. I ended up at office with a full beard and no costume. All is well. I wait. And wait. And wait. Only, nobody asks me about the costume. What the..!

By lunch I have to get the joke out on somebody. I can’t keep it in any longer. Not with my face itching, godamnit.

So I walk into our cafeteria and find a lone woman. Mid forties. Reasonably in the corner. She can’t run. Mwahahaha. My time, my friends, has come.

Little did I know that Miss SharpWit was pickled in brine.

K : I didn’t know we were supposed to look scary.

(S thinks K is from another culture and probably illiterate. Hopefully a culture where the razor will get to being in vogue soon. S decides to be patronizing.)

S : No. I don’t like scary costumes at all. They are soooo scary. Scary costumes give me the heebie jeebies. I don’t like scary costumes, no. Scary costumes are not good. Good thing you’re not in one.

(K realizes that the optimum time gap between the premise and the punchline has passed. But he’s worked really hard for this one. And he’s up against very low expectations. So he goes for it anyways.)

K : I thought it was ‘hairy’.

(S can’t believe our man has got a joke.. but like I said, S is not going down easy)

S : Oh.. oh my God. That’s funny.

S : Hahah.. Scary.. Hairy.. Hahah..

S : You have a beard. Haha. Hairy. Haha.

(K detects faint sarcasm)

S : That is so funny, I am going to write it down. Haha. Hairy. Haha. Let me get a pen.

(K is pretty sure now. But K is knee deep already)

K : It wasn’t easy, you know. I grew a beard for a whole week.

S : I know.. you worked really hard. But for a good one.

S : Are you going to shave it now? When Halloween’s over?

K : Yeah, I guess. I can’t use it for the joke after this, you know.

S : Really? Are you sure? Don’t you think you can work in a joke for the next festivity? That way you can keep the fantastic beard.

K : Christmas?

S : No. There’s Thanksgiving before that.

K : Hmm.. might be possible. Lemme see.

S : Good luck with that kiddo. I hope it’s as funny as your Halloween joke.

(K wants to bury his head in the recycling bin by now)

K : Heh.. yeah I hope so too. *scratches face while managing a flushed smile* Heh.

(And they blamed me for making faces at the trick-or-treaters in the evening.)

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