What really happened

Joseph: So you’re pregnant?

Mary: Yup.

Joseph: And you’re saying it’s the (gestures quotes in air) ‘Holy Spirit’?

Mary: Exactly.

Joseph: And there was an angel in this room?

Mary: Spot on.

Joseph: Come on Mary, have you been drinking that wine again?

Mary: This is why I’m skeptical about marrying you Joseph. You have no faith.

Joseph: YOU’re skeptical about marrying ME?

Mary: Yeah, you have no idea how embarrassing you can get sometimes.

Joseph: Wow. I get embarrassing?

Mary: Why do you always have to be so objective? Why can’t you free the child in you?

Joseph: Did you just say “Child in you”? Is that your little mind game huh, Mary?

Mary: I can’t see why you can’t share my excitement about this baby boy we’ll have. Gabriel told me he’d rule the world.

Joseph: Gabriel? You’re on a first name basis now?!

Mary: How can I not be? He named my firstborn you know?

Joseph: He named the child? What am I, a total sucker? I want to name him.

Mary: No. He will be called “Son of Most High”

Joseph: No way. What is that? That’s like a Red Indian name. Might as well call him Wandering Bear or something. ‘Most High’! You know what a nightmare that is going to make school for him?

Mary: Ok, lemme hear yours.

Joseph: I always wanted to name our child Collingwood. (excited) Wood. Get it? Carpenter. Wood. Get it Mary? (is the only one laughing)

Mary: Yuck.

Joseph: Don’t you yuck me Mary. You just told me you said, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord.” What kind of sycophantic language is that?

Mary: He said, “Blest art thou”. What was I supposed to do? He established the literary precedent there and all you do is blame me. You are such a whiner, Joseph; and too narrow minded. Why are you so insecure about our relationship?

Joseph: What will I do if he has no calling for carpentry? You know what kind of a market there is for a two carpenter enterprise?

Mary: He’s going to be a king and you’re worried about the woodwork?!

Joseph: That’s what the mermaid told you!

Mary: Angel. Not mermaid.

Joseph: Yeah. Whatever.

Mary: I have a feeling he’s going to be like Alexander – Hungry for the East.

Joseph: Yeah right.

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3 Responses to “What really happened”

  1. Christmas is wonderful. I remember when I was a kid, I had only chocolates for lunch. Then I watched a movie or something. And I loved the movie! I gave some money to some beggars… Then I bursted crackerers.

    Oh, wait.. That was Diwali.

  2. Sweet. How does it feel to be the reincarnated fly on the wall of the stable during that fateful conversation? If I were you, I’d sell the story to Maury. And I agree; Collingwood, Son of Man is much better than “jesus”.

  3. I believe in Collingwood

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