Upliftment

My workplace is on the top floor of a building with three lifts, only two of which are synchronized. Now, everyone in the building knows that. What people don’t know is which of the two greatly alluring buttons one must press to go up or down. Amazingly, it escapes my building’s myriad genius’ reason that the one with the tiny lit arrow pointing UPWARDS might… might just be the one requiring to be pressed to go UP. I’ve often seen people contemplating deeply in front of this twisted maze of two ..yes, two whole.. confusing options:

“Hmm… two buttons.. one pointing to where I want to go; the other not. I wonder which one it is… hmmmm…hmmmm…” *big cosmic spiral in head*

To add to this, we have two non-synchronized lifts. So the scene is that everyone on every floor presses both up and down buttons for two lifts. For those who are inside the lift, it’s just like a roller coaster. It stops on every floor and nobody gets in. So much excitement. Oh wait, there’s another set of gifted people. Ones who don’t know where the lift is going. My blood curdles when I see people ride to my floor, the topmost floor, and not get off. They are on the way to the basement… through the freaking top floor. What did you grow up on? Banana peels?!! There’s a bloody red arrow showing you where the lift is going. There’s a reason they made it red. It’s visible from a f*cking mile away. Isn’t that enough distance to do the complex math required to figure out if that’s where you want your ass in a while? Huh?!

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2 Responses to “Upliftment”

  1. “What did you grow up on? Banana peels?!!”

    That’s funny on so many levels.

    “One pointing to where I want to go; the other not.”

    Maybe they grew up on Winnie the Pooh-bear.

  2. Banana peels.Totally cracked me up.
    They’re probably just soft in the head.Let it slip by.

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