HoRror

I’ve had it with HR folks. I’ve had it with managements on the whole, but HR folks deserve special mention. At some point after hiring, where they frown at you if you are not a direct descendant of Einstein’s love child with Hedy Lamarr, these people start devising policies which assume in employees, intelligence on par with invertebrates.

Before hiring: “What?! You never got a Fields Medal?”

After hiring: “Let’s all form a huge circle and run around that tree at noon”

What the?! Did you brainstorm for that? Did you give each other high fives? Is it vital for the organisation? Are mere mortals like me not seeing the point? Why does it sound so remarkably like HoRsecrap then?

It’s not that HR is dumb. HR guys are very very smart when dealing with individuals. Try getting a hike out of these scumbags. No. It’s just that they are pea brained in their decision making for groups of employees. HR works on the assumption that the employee community can be thought of as a two year old…goat, but with lesser intelligence and slightly better breath. And at the helm of all HR initiatives for employees is the noble goal of converting disjoint individual employees into one cohesive organism of infinite productivity at the least cost. So, instead of direct benefits, they offer a barrage of idiotic newsletters, committees, outings and team building activities. Just what the overworked employee found vitally missing in his meaningless life of indulgence. HR, in an act representative of its sheer magnitude of heart will strive to bring to them their true calling: Unadulterated mindlessness.

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2 Responses to “HoRror”

  1. About time someone took HR seriously!

    Yours
    very very smart

  2. Absolutely hilarious. And marvellous. And .

    Someone else’s
    Problem

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