Bus Karo

On my most recent bus trip, I had the honour of observing the biggest collection of loonies under one roof, that I have ever come across. Leading the pack was a perfectly sane looking young man, who publicly threatened to unleash his arsenal of stinking footwear if the guy on the aisle side didn’t move his suitcase to a suggested position. Now that had me floored. It was the single most potent threat I had heard in a while, and at its core, so elegantly simple. It was brilliant. “Move your suitcase buddy, or else…” with hands on laces and a mean scowl. Picture that. Maybe it won’t exactly fit into a Bond plot, but it’s coercive as hell, I tell you. “Do it. Do it. Twitching fingers, baby. Don’t push me.” Yeah, bloody genius. And chances are, people watching will prod the recipient of the threat nine out of ten times. “Do it, sir. So cold outside. Difficult to open windows, you see. After all, just a suitcase no?”. All the while keeping the muscles surrounding the nose a bit cramped, just at the thought of it. Threat maker is ruler of bus. Just like that. Shmooth. And, moving on to the other end of the loony pack, there was a lady aged about three hundred who found it ethically unbearable to sit next to a male stranger, who was himself two hundred and fifty. No sir, Indian women don’t do that. Not the good ones. Aargh. Whatever happened to wisdom with age? I wondered what she suspected him of doing. In that cold, at that age and with that shoe threat looming large, you could get Lindsay Lohan in a cheerleader costume to strip and smear cream all over, but the old man would, at best, reach out for his asthma inhaler. But Oldlady cried out loud that he was the most heartless scumbag north of the equator. Oldman was no cool cat, mind you; big loony himself. He was not moving because the only other vacant seat was in the last row, which was going to be a bumpy ride. And this one next to Oldlady in the second last row, one whole row ahead, was going to be all pearls over velvet. All I could do was look up ahead and shout, “You heard the man mister, move your suitcase.”


3 Responses to “Bus Karo”

  1. Titus Moras Says:

    I see that my disguise was just as good as my threat!By the way,if that guy hadn’t moved his suitcase,I had other tricks up my sleeve!Yes Sir,all the way to my armpits…..

  2. Bus karo?


  3. Nin Ajji

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